Quiet Compliance

Quiet Compliance is when you’re asked to be quiet and keep your opinions to yourself. When you’re supposed to just sit there and nod and not voice any concerns or disapproval or approval that you might have. If they want your opinion – they’ll give it to you. This is also referred to as invalidation.

When you are not validated, you feel invisible, unappreciated, unimportant, taken for granted, and unvalued. Easily discarded, rejected, abandoned and ignored. I could go on, but you probably get the point by now. When someone subjects you to invalidation, they’re telling you that they don’t care about you, that you don’t matter and that they have a problem showing compassion, empathy, sensitivity, and sympathy. So, really the problem is THEIRS, but it affects you because you are their scapegoat. You are their whipping post. You are the way they build themselves up, by putting you down.

A pity isn’t it? Someone is so insecure that they have to belittle, demean and purposefully hurt someone who has done nothing more than voice their opinion and/or been too nice to them, too supportive of them and just wants the same in return.

When someone is unable to show compassion or empathy, they have a defect in their brain; it has been scientifically proven. The part of their brain that is needed to be empathic or sensitive is underdeveloped due to neglect between the ages of 3-5 years. If someone did not receive the love and support and empathy that they needed at 3, 4 or 5, they would not be able to ever recover. That part of their brain fails to grow any further, and that person is forever at the mercy of their undeveloped brain; an injury by who should have been loving caregivers – instead they received nothing and now have to overcome their feelings of chronic failure, irritability, agitation and inferiority to compensate. Many people think the best way to GET what they need is to put others down and to purposefully hurt and manipulate. It’s called Narcissism.

I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel sorry for the narcissist. It’s not really their fault. They were abused, abandoned, rejected and so their brain did the best it could to save them and went into survival mode. The problem, of course, is that narcissists can be very cruel and cause brain injury to the person on the receiving end of their cruelty. Chronic emotional and verbal manipulation is abuse. That kind of damage affects the brain and causes PTSD, anxiety, memory loss, illness, and many other symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome.

noun: Stockholm syndrome
  1. feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor.

Knowing the fact is only half the battle. In this intense, angry world we live in, we are exposed to all kinds of personalities. If you’re around this kind of person, stay far away.

Start by loving yourself so much that you recognize even the slightest abuse. Respect yourself enough to accept only respect from others – walk away if you’re not receiving respect all the time! No exceptions!

Great love for you,





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